Who to marry
In marriage, the man normally joins or is joined to a woman. The nature is heterogeneous. The background of the person does not have to be that of the same language, nation, race or geography. Rather, what is required is that the person needs to share in the belief, knowledge and practice in compliance with the unity of Allah. “Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters) until they believe… Nor marry your (girls) to unbelievers until they believe …” Qur’an 2:221
The man normally and in most cases proposes and asks for the hand of the woman in marriage. This is sealed with a token gift that is instituted as the right of the woman. But nothing in this context or by this provision makes it prohibitive for the woman to be the first to propose it or for the woman to provide the token gift for herself on behalf of the proposed man. Also, the active initiators may be representatives/trustees/guardians.
The factors of attraction for either men or women but especially in the case of women (because they are the ones whose hand is normally sought) include physical and natural build or beauty, the amount of wealth they own, political or social position, that is of useful relevance for the advancement of the course of Islam or knowledge combined with piety. But preference is to be given to the combined qualities of knowledge and piety. The logic of this is not far and difficult to grasp. Of all the factors these are the only ones that can properly belong to one and do not diminish, no matter how it is shared.
In Islam, two basic conditions define the parties and terms of sexual relationship. The parties must be of opposite sex and married. By implication, homosexualism is out-rightly prohibited. Also the opposite sexes must be human beings, an admixture of married and unmarried persons or parties that are both not husband and wife are all out of question. It is therefore wrong for two differently married persons.
Sexual relation need be private, strictly by the two specifically married persons. This implies that the place must exclude any third party. It must not be for show, for sale, for pay, as a hobby or a profession or part of any of these. In Islam, there is no restriction as to the time and method or style to be employed, provided it does not contradict what is explicitly commanded.
“Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will…” Qur’an 2:222 It is in this sense that the husband and the wife become a garment for one another; the wife described as the farm, while the husband is the farmer and tilthing being the meeting point. Thus, the fruits or harvest may or may not include children. In marriage, righteousness comes first. That is a promise of Allah, for those who strive in the doing of good and Allah blesses as he chooses.